


Caught by Surprise

by Lucifers_Trash_Stash



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Light-Hearted, Merle Dixon Being Merle Dixon, One Shot, mention of a penis, merle getting himself into trouble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 02:32:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16883979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifers_Trash_Stash/pseuds/Lucifers_Trash_Stash
Summary: While walking through the woods, Merle and Michonne argue for a bit before being confronted by walkers.





	Caught by Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> A short comedy drabble with the requested prompt "Please put your penis away."

“Ya sure y’ain’t gettin’ our asses lost, sweetheart?” the familiar gravelly voice drawled from behind Michonne as she trekked further into the forest.

Michonne looked behind her to see Merle stomping around, his eyebrow cocked as he waited for an answer. “Ye of little faith,” was all she said as she turned and continued on.

“Now hold up,” Merle snarled back as he caught up to her and fell into step with her. “As far as I know yer far less experienced huntin’ and trackin’ like I am. So why don’t ya let me take care of-”

Michonne stopped in her tracks and turned to Merle, her mouth curled into a scowl. “And who let the walkers split us up from the main group because you insisted you had things handled? You’ve done enough today,” she said in a low tone as she watched Merle’s teeth grit. He knew she was right but was too stubborn to admit it.

“Fuck you,” was all Merle could say before turning around on his heel and calling out over his shoulder, “I gotta take a piss!”

Michonne crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the nearest tree, relieved to have a break away from Merle for long enough to clear her head. She couldn’t understand how Daryl managed to grow up with him as a brother. He was rude, crass, and always insisted he was in the right when he wasn’t. It was enough to drive anyone insane.

Just as Michonne was finally enjoying the peace and quiet, she heard him bark out, “Sonnuva _bitch!_ ” She quickly pushed off of the tree and rushed towards the direction he disappeared to with her hand hovering over the hilt of her katana.

She spotted Merle cursing and hollering underneath a walker, his bladed prosthetic arm holding the creature off as its maw snapped over his face. He was trying his damndest to push it off with his free hand, but he couldn’t get a good grasp on it with his only weapon holding off the walker.

With barely a second of hesitation, Michonne hurried over and kicked the walker in the side so Merle could roll away from its grasp. As the walker’s attention turned to her, Michonne sunk her blade into the creature’s eye socket. In an instant its arms fell limp at its side; the rotten corpse was finally able to rest.

Michonne glanced over at Merle, still laying on the ground. He looked upset with himself that he was taken by surprise and needed to be saved. As Michonne’s gaze left his face and looked at the rest of him, she had to hold back an audible groan. No wonder he was so easily incapacitated by the walker.

“Please put your penis away,” was all Michonne said as she turned and began wandering back to the trail.

“I just about got fucking turned into walker bait cause I needed to piss and yer worried about if my dick’s out!?” Merle grumbled as he stood up and zipped himself back up. “Ain’t no time to be all Miss Modest out here!”

Michonne snorted and gave him a quick glance over her shoulder. “You’re welcome, by the way. Now hurry up.”

While she wasn’t looking, Merle cracked a smile and followed her. Maybe she wasn’t the worst company in the world after all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in keeping up with me, check me out on Tumblr @lucifers-trash-stash :D


End file.
